Tom Purcell, 2/25/2008 [Archive]

For The Love of Obama

For the Love of Obama

By Tom Purcell

"I was so overcome with emotion, I nearly passed out."

"Passed out?"

"The wife and I have been following Barack Obama around the country. Every time he enters a room, the wife collapses into my arms. I have to use smelling salts to bring her out of it."

"I see."

"He's quite a presence, that Obama. As president, he's not only going to change America, he's going to change the world!"

"Change? What kind of change?"

"The kind of change in which he's going to do things differently -- differently than they've ever been done before. There'll be no more same old same old with Obama."

"What will his change accomplish?"

"It will give us hope -- lots and lots of hope."

"Hope is good. But what will this hope accomplish?"

"Haven't you been paying attention? It will help us believe in change! Obama wants us to believe in our own ability to bring about change."

"But if you already believe in your own ability to bring about change, why do you need Obama?"

"Because of the future! Obama is going to make the future bright -- he won't fail as our past leaders have."

"Look, it's true that Obama has charisma and charm. He's an articulate fellow and he gives an inspirational speech. But before we propel him to the presidency, would you mind if I asked some hypothetical questions?"

"Bring it on."

"Would you rather have a president who believes that individuals will drive America's success or one who puts all of his hope in the government?"

"That's easy. Individual Americans are the reason we've gotten where we are."

"Would you prefer a candidate who promises to initiate several new government programs or one who promises to restrain government growth?"

"That's easy, too. If our government keeps growing, we'll end up with more regulations and higher taxes and our economy will become as stagnant as the one in France."

"OK, then would you prefer a president who will lower taxes for everyone or a president who says he will raise taxes on the 'rich'?"

"I'd go with the low-tax guy. Isn't it obvious by now that low taxes unleash investment and economic growth, which is good for all income levels?"

"Congratulations. You just voted AGAINST Barack Obama."

"I did?"

"Look, Obama has been getting a free pass on his policies. Nobody seems to care what they are, but when they are examined in detail, the picture is not very pretty."

"It's not?"

"All you have to do is go to Obama's Web site,, to see what he is promising to do. Take global warming. Obama believes man is the cause of it and he's got a host of ambitious mandates and programs he will push if he becomes president."

"He does?"

"As for taxes, he says he'll lower them for working families but that he'll raise them on the 'rich.' The unfortunate reality, however, is that the 'rich' are the ones who invest in new businesses. By raising their taxes, he will impede investment and impede growth."

"He will?"

"Go ahead and visit his Web site and you'll see the word 'expand' all over the place. He likes the word 'create,' too -- as in create new government programs. He's got lots of ideas to grow the government."

"I didn't know that."

"There are some who are saying Obama is an empty suit -- a relatively young fellow whose work history has mostly been as a politician. But the truth of the matter is that he's not an empty suit at all."

"What is he?"

"If elected president, he is a fellow who may be successful in implementing ambitious, big-government policies. He's telling us exactly what he wants to do, but people are more interested in his charisma than his ideas. So do you still want Obama to be president?"

"But he's tall and eloquent and dresses so well. He'll make a fine president."

Tom Purcell is a humor columnist nationally syndicated exclusively by Cagle Cartoons, for more info call Sales at (805) 969-2829. For comments to Tom, please email him at Visit Tom on the web at or

RESTRICTIONS: 'Tom Purcell's column may not be reprinted in general circulation print media in Pennsylvania's Allegheny, Beaver, Butler, and Westmoreland Counties. It may appear only in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review and its sister publications."

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