Will Durst Will Durst, 9/1/2007 [Archive]

Republicans Gone Wild 2


Raging Moderate, by Will Durst

If you're one of the millions still rolling on the floor in amazement at the greed and hypocrisy featured in last year's surprise hit: 'REPUBLICANS GONE WILD,' throw that DVD away. Because you're not going to believe the extreme and hilarious action we've compiled for you in the brand new 'REPUBLICANS GONE WILD 2.'

You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll kiss any chance of their recapturing Congress goodbye. But you'll never forget this brand new, never-before-seen footage featuring their patented wide stances and narrow minds. You've seen their breakdowns on television. You've read about their exploits in the newspapers. You've witnessed their Family Value blustering for years. Now relive their blathering and blubbering at your leisure.

Here it is-- the ultimate collection of the most crazed and sexed-up elected official footage ever accumulated on one DVD. 'REPUBLICANS GONE WILD 2' has it all! At the malls, inside stalls, even in the halls of the Capitol. 'REPUBLICANS GONE WILD 2,' will have you saying 'Jiminy.'

You may think the Republican Party needs this the same way a three-legged armadillo needs a rabid badger gnawing at his last remaining front paw on the gravel shoulder of I-95 in the dead of night. And you'd be right! Conduct unbecoming a senator? Conduct unbecoming a weasel.

All the hilarious escapades you loved in 'REPUBLICANS GONE WILD' are back, only bigger and better and sleazier than ever in 'REPUBLICANS GONE WILD 2.' The crazy zany antics of Jack Abramoff, Mark Foley, Duke Cunningham and Bob Ney will PALE next to this madcap collection of weird and wacky wildness.

100% raw, real, and uncut! Wild solo gaffes. Congressman-on-congressman action. '08 presidential candidates hiding their faces behind their hands mumbling for Idaho Republican Sen. Larry Craig to 'just go away, please, go away.' Plus much, much more. See them lie, deny and just plain cry.

All your favorite 2007 moments are here.

Gasp as chastised Louisiana Sen. David Vitter, southern regional chair of the Giuliani campaign, admits to frequenting a house of prostitution, but avoids any further questions by saying the matter is between his family and God.

Inhale as newly elected millionaire South Carolina Treasurer Thomas Ravenel, chair of the SC Giuliani campaign, is charged with conspiracy to distribute a quantity of cocaine, carrying a possible sentence of 20 years in prison.

Guffaw as Robert W. Allen, co-chair of Sen. John McCain's Florida legislative leadership team, is arrested for soliciting prostitution from an undercover police officer posing as a transvestite in a public park restroom, but says he was intimidated into it due to being the only white guy in the area.

Thrill as Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, Mitt Romney's '08 GOP Senate coordinator, announces to the world, 'I am not gay. I have never been gay.' Then repeats it about 87 times and thanks those in attendance 'for coming out today.'

Become a member of the 'REPUBLICANS GONE WILD Pioneers Club,' and enjoy instant access to a special website and all the 'REPUBLICANS GONE WILD' archives. 24/7. Republicans never sleep. Why should you? Get exclusive clips not available anywhere else. Updated daily.

NOTE: 'REPUBLICANS GONE WILD 3,' being compiled by assistant DAs all over America as we speak. Act within the next 48 hours and get a free 'FOLEY/ CRAIG '08' bumper sticker!

Comedian, actor, writer, former radio talk show host and all-you-can-eat pancake flipper, Will Durst, thinks while Sen. Larry 'Jiminy' Craig may indeed be a homosexual, he is certainly not gay.

Copyright© 2007 Will Durst, distributed by the Cagle Cartoons Inc. syndicate. Call Sales at (805) 969-2829 or e-mail sales@cagle.com. Will Durst is a political comedian who has performed around the world. He is a familiar pundit on television and radio. Catch Durst performing his solo show 'The All- American Sport of Bipartisan Bashing' in Off-Broadway at the New World Stages (340 W. 50th St.), now extended through the end of September, maybe October. Who knows? Telecharge.com for tickets or willdurst.com for more info.Or listen to his twice-weekly commentaries @audible.com/willdurst. And check out iTunes audiobooks for his new CD: 'Ring Toss for Aliens,' for a limited time -- only $4.95. E-mail Will at durst@caglecartoons.com.

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